What is a dark empath? Let’s dig in. We all share an emotional connection with someone. It’s one of our evolutionary needs to connect with people at an emotional level, but sometimes those emotional connections can take advantage of us precisely via these connections they form with us. While there are a lot of reasons for it, the people who take advantage of other unsuspecting people are called dark empaths, and that is the subject matter of this piece. Among other things related to the topic, we’ll talk about how to spot a dark empath by recognizing identifiable signs in the words below:
What is a Dark Empath?
A dark empath is a type of person who is a high-functioning part of society and has a high level of empathy, which they use to achieve personal gains. Because they understand empathy at a deeper level, it is how they pretend that they care about someone when in actuality they are more interested in their targets due to their wealth, social standing, or other things that they might be able to gain from them. It is more of a character trait rather than a mental condition like bipolar disorder.
They have all the prerequisites that one needs to have an emotional intelligence with which they can empathize with people. This empathy they have is indeed empathy, but it’s not compassionate empathy. It means dark empaths are not compelled and motivated enough to help the people who are emotionally connected with them.
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What they actually use is cognitive empathy, which is the ability with which they are able to understand others’ thought processes. Once they have understood their target’s thoughts and perspectives, they use this understanding to manipulate you without feeling any remorse or consequence. Researchers who were bent on digging the concept of dark empaths (which are part of the dark personalities such as narcissists called dark triads – Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism – Heym et al., 2021) by looking at the dark traits they can have did actually find a positive correlation between dark traits and the personality of a dark empath. Let’s shed more light on these traits in the next section.
Dark Traits of Dark Empaths
There are the 5 signs of a dark empath that you can watch out for
Habitual Manipulators
One of the most prominent signs of dark empaths is manipulation. They can use manipulation as a tool to control situations for personal gain. They often guilt trip their targets, make their emotional dependents feel in the wrong for not listening to them, and may even gaslight their targets if they confront them about their behavior, attempting to convince their targets that they essentially misunderstood the situation.
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Extroversion
While being extroverted is considered to be a great thing to have, extroversion, when mixed with other dark personality traits, is lethal. In part due to their narcissistic tendencies, hinting at their ability to be comfortable socializing and communicating with others, dark empaths tend to be more extroverted than others (Heym et al., 2021). This trait is lethal because it is extremely good at forging new connections and maintaining them later, especially combined with cognitive empathy, also making both the traits a recipe for grave consequences for the targets of dark empaths.
Keen Perception
Precisely due to the higher levels of cognitive empathy, dark empaths are highly attuned to other people’s reactions and feelings. This helps them find potential targets by making themselves seem extremely and unusually understanding and highly caring. This is because, in the end, the goal is still personal gain. It is also the way dark empaths hide in plain sight.
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Ability to Retain Emotional Distance
This ability very easily comes to dark empaths, which they can use to make it seem like there is an authentic bond with their target while still maintaining a certain emotional distance from them. This helps a dark empath keep free from feeling any remorse or guilt, therefore making it a major tool in their toolbox, which often leads their targets to go into depression and anxiety.
Self-Criticism
You may confuse dark empaths with narcissistic personalities due to overlapping traits. Critical self-reflection and criticism can go a long way to offset the narcissistic tendencies that cause them to feel a sense of grandiosity and self-importance. This self-critical stance might be driven by their motivation to sharpen skills of emotional control and exploitation rather than having genuine remorse for their actions. After learning about this, you shouldn’t be veering into a debate of dark empath vs narcissist.
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What Causes Dark Empathy?
As with other mental conditions and disorders, the cause of dark empathy is also unknown but there is reason to believe that psychological, genetic, and environmental factors may influence it. Researchers believe human personalities are 30% to 60% hereditary as evidenced by twin and adoption studies, therefore, there is 30% to 60% that the children of dark empaths might have dark empathy. This should answer questions like are dark empaths are born or made.
How to Deal With a Dark Empath?
There are certain ways you can slip away from a dark empath:
- Cut them entirely from your life, or at the very least, set boundaries if you are unable to do so the former.
- Seek support. You can go for psychotherapy or psychiatric medication management to keep away from the mental issues induced by dark empaths.
- Prioritize and keep yourself grounded. You can go for this by practicing mindfulness, living a healthy lifestyle via things such as a balanced diet or exercise.
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Wrapping Up
Now you know what is a dark empath and how you can spot one by looking at some of the traits that they possess. If it is the treatment you are looking for, then Solid Foundation Psychiatry can help (even if it is an alternative version such as telehealth psychiatry for problems like OCD or bipolar disorder). Looking forward to your appointment!