It is usually the case that at least once, you have been ostracized at some point in your life. We are made to make connections with others in our surroundings. Most people would rather be invited to join a group, given that relationships are key to a reasonably satisfying existence. If you’ve ever felt like you’re alone in a room of people or rejected by a group, then you might know what it feels like to be ostracized. We are here to discuss why people experience social ostracization, so let’s begin:
What Does It Mean to Be Ostracized?
In simple words, it is the feeling of being excluded from a group, be it a family or a friend’s group. It is also considered to be a form of bullying, or as Kipling D. Williams, Professor of Psychological Sciences at Purdue, would say, “Being excluded or ostracized is an invisible form of bullying that doesn’t leave bruises, and therefore we often underestimate its impact.” The emotional bruising of ostracism can be as powerful as any cutting words ever uttered and punches thrown by a past bully. It is something different from something like psychosis. It is more of a behavioral issue than a mental one.
Ostracization, or the exclusion of a person by an individual or group, is also a common tactic of workplace bullies. And that is where it takes its new form in your adulthood, if you were thinking that you are free from it now that you are an adult.
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The Negative Effects Of Being Ostracized
Cialdini (2005), a professor at Arizona State University, found that we tend to underestimate the influence of social dynamics that we experience have on our lives. Hence, we are going to discuss how we experience negative effects after being ostracized. Just like in the wild, belonging to a group was necessary for survival, and traveling alone left us susceptible to injury and death; it still warns of an impending danger that our social connections (which are also necessary for survival in the modern world) are about to be lost.
Victims of ostracization often say that exclusion hurts, and it is reiterated in the study done by Eisenberger et al (2003), where the research shows that isolation activates the dorsal anterior cingulate and the anterior insula, the same areas of the brain that light up as a result of physical pain. In addition to making you hurt, ostracization is also capable of promoting conformity, stifling creativity, and discouraging whistleblowing, especially in a workplace setting.
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So Why Do Adults Ostracize?
The cursory indicators for ostracization are often seen in the shape of power, social status, and prejudices. It means that people often practice the ostracization of others due to shifting power, differences in social status, and preordained prejudices. These can also be considered to be signs you are being ostracized.
When it comes to adults, examples of ostracism and ostracizing behavior are often seen in workplace settings. An example would be a manager who exerts control over a number of employees may unwittingly or wittingly create a clique of favored workers to gain their confidence and information over other employees. But that doesn’t mean that family and friends don’t ostracize during adulthood. As a matter of fact they do.
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Family Ostracism
There’s nothing quite like the pain of being overlooked by your own family. It is a special kind of heartache. When children grow up in a home that ignores their feelings, and are left to be ostracized by the family as a result, it is what we define as Childhood Emotional Neglect or CEN.
It is especially impactful on a child’s life when their feelings are ignored, all the while their siblings are given special attention. It can be this way because a family is punishing a child who has fallen into disfavor for whatever reason, while others enjoy excluding one or another child as a power play, simply because he or she finds it rewarding.
Research shows that exclusion can increase negative mood (Blackhart, et al., 2009). It also shows that social exclusion can make people feel that they don’t belong and that they do not have control, while it also has the ability to reduce their self-esteem (Gerber and Wheeler, 2009), which often leads to issues like anxiety and depression from the very start.
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Ostracism in a Friend’s Group
According to the anti-bullying organization Defeat the Label, the repeated and intentional instances of being excluded by friends are a form of bullying. It can happen for a range of reasons, but it is most commonly associated with pure dislike of the one who is being ostracized by the gorup, removing the competition, and it often exists as a form of punishment for those in the group who make a mistake or say something that is frowned upon by that same group. Buried deep in the ostracism psychology, but nonetheless existing, social ostracism like this frequently causes psychological harm and can have negative outcomes for emotional and behavioural health (often leading to exacerbation of issues such as OCD and bipolar disorder) and even worse problems, for example, an analysis of school shootings in the United States (Leary, Kowalski, & Smith, 2003) found that the shooters in 13 of the 15 cases examined had been targets of ostracism, as was also evident in the tragic shootings that took place in Virginia
Tech in 2007. It is true even when it may not be seen in the context of bullying.
How to Deal with Being Ostracized?
Dealing with or coping with ostracism tends to be in the negative realm, as proven by studies such as the one done by Leary, Kowalski, & Smith in 2003. Instead of coping mechanisms, one should try treatment methods such as psychotherapy and psychiatric medication management, which can help in dealing with the problems or symptoms that can erupt from being ostracized for too long. One can also deal with it in a healthy way by practicing self-reflection, setting small goals, and self-compassion.
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Wrapping Up!
Now you can answer questions like, “Are you ever ostracized?”, or “How to recover from being ostracized?”. By the way, if the treatment methods mentioned above are not feasible or comfortable enough, then you need to get treatment such as telehealth psychiatry, then you do not need to go to someone else because Solid Foundation Psychiatry is here for you. All you have to do is book an appointment.