Feelings are complex. It happens to every human being. That wave of discomfort, sadness, frustration, and anger washes over you, leaving you feeling… bad. Knowing your feelings, like anxious, angry, or upset, is important. In those moments, it’s easy to believe that this feeling defines your importance or dictates your next move.
You might think, “Because I feel so terrible right now, this situation must be incredibly significant.” But what if feeling bad is not a measure of importance but simply a signal, a natural part of the human experience?
Yes, that matters. Feelings are just that…things that happen.
Sometimes, feelings can be intense, and sometimes, they are buried away, harder to recognize.
So, at that time, it is critical to note that in a real sense.
The feelings wheel, an innovation of Dr. Gloria Willcox, can help us communicate our emotions and manage our mental health. It is like a graph that documents certain emotions at a specific time.
What Is The Feelings Wheel?
The feeling wheel is a unique approach with many shades and meanings for identifying and understanding emotions. It’s a tool or chart that lets individuals better navigate their emotional feelings and develop healthier emotional intelligence.
The calm feelings wheel and other terms are visual representations of emotions, typically structured in concentric circles. The center normally has core emotions like happiness, sadness, anger, fear, hate, and shock. Moving outwards, the wheel branches into more specific feelings related to those core emotions.
There are the elements of emotions: primary, secondary, intensity, combinations, and relations.
For example, under the core feeling of” anger,” there come sub-feelings like frustration, irritation, rage, or resentment. Like, under happiness comes excitement and joy.
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The Nature of Feelings Wheel
Feelings, in their true nature, are transparent. These are responses to situations, thoughts, and even physiological states of certain people and events. You can consider them as an internal weather pattern of a person. They can be intense, even stormy, but they rarely last forever in their initial intensity.
The meaning we assign to these feelings, the story we fabricate around them, truly shapes our experience and influences our actions.
The feeling does not automatically correlate to something inherently wrong or requiring powerful, immediate action.
In life, our motivation often starts from two primary sources: one is the pursuit of pleasure or positive experiences, and the second is a desire to act following our values or what we believe is right.
Technically, these both align. Feeling happy after helping someone in need is a wonderful example of this harmonious convergence. However, life is not that simple.
The Ease and Illusion of Acting on Bad Feelings
When a person feels bad, a negative feeling arises, and the desire to act on it can be incredibly strong. This is like an itch—the immediate response to scratch it gives a sense of relief and satisfaction.
The quick gratification can be irresistible. Feeling angry can lead to switching out, and in the same way, feeling sad can lead to withdrawal. Feeling anxious can cause avoidance. These actions give a quick, temporary sense of satisfaction or release from the discomfort. However, the problem is that this satisfaction is often fleeting and can lead to negative consequences in the long term.
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The Tricky Brain Hijacks: What’s Right When Feeling Good
The human brain is weird in seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. This natural inclination can sometimes guide us wrong when it comes to guiding difficult emotions. Our brains have the remarkable ability to justify decisions that are based on what feels good at the time, even if it contradicts what we know to be good or right in the long run.
Think of it as an example. You are to stick to a healthy diet plan. You might be feeling stressed or down after a long day. The thought of indulging in a comforting but unhealthy snack will capture your mind. Your mind may send messages or whisper phrases like, “You deserve this,” or “Just once won’t hurt.”
Suddenly, what feels good is the immediate comfort of the snack. This is the rationale for being “right” at that moment. That mental maneuvering or drive helps us avoid the discomfort of resisting immediate gratification. Later on, it brings “meta feelings” about the good feelings that one has had.
Understanding Your Emotions with the “Feelings Wheel”
To shift negative feelings around, it’s important to create a deeper sense of your feelings and emotions
Often, the feeling we recognize is just the tip of the iceberg. Tools like the “feelings wheel, also known as the emotions wheel or wheel of emotion, can help examine and label the expressions of our emotional experiences.
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How to Use the Feelings Wheel for Adults
This is an important skill for adults in emotional literacy, especially when using the feelings wheel. So, when you are feeling bad, take a moment to consult the wheel. You can start by identifying the general category for your feelings in the inner circle. Then, explore the outer circles to pinpoint the more precise emotion you are experiencing.
For example, if you say that you feel “angry,” When you use the feelings wheel, you can realize that you are feeling “frustrated” because your expectations were not met, or perhaps “resentful” due to perceived unfairness. This specific labeling can provide valuable insights into the root cause of your discomfort.
The “feeling chart wheel” serves as a graphic direction that helps you give detailed descriptions of your emotional state. By identifying the specific emotion, you gain a clearer understanding of what triggers it and what you must have in that moment.
Connection of Your Actions with Values
While it is necessary to acknowledge and understand our feelings, it’s equally important to make conscious choices about how we respond to those feelings. Just because you feel bad does not mean you have to act in a way that determines your well-being or your values. This is the distinction between acting and feeling; what you believe to be good or right becomes paramount.
Sometimes, the good or bad actions may not feel immediately pleasurable. It can even feel uncomfortable or challenging in the short term. For example, if you have an honest but difficult conversation that may feel uncomfortable or unpleasant at the moment, it can be the right thing to do for the health of a relationship. Similarly, sticking to a budget or pursuing long-term goals may require delaying immediate gratification, but it is related to your values of financial responsibility or personal achievement.
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Benefits of Using a Feelings Wheel
- You can have an increased emotional vocabulary because the wheel expands your ability to express your feelings beyond simple terms like “happy, sad, or angry.
- You will have improved self-awareness. By consciously identifying and labeling your emotions, you develop a stronger understanding of your internal landscape.
- Your communication can be enhanced, which gives you the power to communicate your feelings more effectively in your circle.
Why This Matters to Build a More Meaningful Life
The learning of how to direct bad feelings effectively is not about suppressing emotions and pretending to be happy all the time. It is more about developing a healthier relationship with your emotional self. This way, you can build a life that is not driven by momentary feelings and is rooted in a deeper sense of purpose and well-being.
At Solid Foundation Psychiatry, we help people in the USA develop the skills and understand the necessary processes to steer the complexities of their emotional lives. We believe that everyone can build a happier and more fulfilling life.
Are you working to understand your mental disorders or difficult emotions? Our team of experienced psychiatrists and therapists can provide personalized support and guidance.
Contact us today to learn how we can help you develop a healthier relationship with your feelings and build a more meaningful life.